Letters I never sent [06]

Over the summer, we will be sharing with you several letters, the letters never sent.  Some to total strangers, some to practitioners and some to friends and family.  Some we will post anonymously and others will link to the author’s blog.

This letter is anonymous, for obvious reasons, but I would love to hear your advice for the person writing it.  What would you suggest they do?

Dear Friend

So we’ve not long known one another, yet we instantly hit it off, you sort of became my best friend.

We had laughs, the kids became best friends, we had laughs, we went out, we had laughs, we sat at yours drinking and again we had laughs.

I suppose all good things come to an end right?

Letters never sent to a friend who dumped meWhy do those things end though when having a child with a disability didn’t finish the friendship?

When we out grow one another?

When the kids get older and no longer want to play?

Or when you get a man.

Yup, a man, that’s what’s in effect killed this friendship.

Remember the nights out? The days spent laughing just us and the kids? Remember the time you’d text because you had something to tell me? Remember our nights singing and drinking, getting drunk and laughing, laughing, you’ll always be my best friend. Remember the last time? Yea, me either.

He changed you.

Now I’m not even thought of. Ok I am when you argue, or when you don’t trust him, who gets the text? Come for a coffee. When was that last text? Oh yea, when you split. When I was the one who held your hand, who was there to come for coffee and to go out, who listened about this guy over and over again. Who was told I’m never doing this to you, to my children to my family again, he’s never coming back, I’ve missed so much, so many drinking nights had to stop, so many places I’ve not been, so many days missed.

Yes it’s an open door you’re welcome any time is what I get told but I can be chatting to you on the phone and all of a sudden you have to go ‘coz he’s walked in, or a txt conversation will stop, I’m guessing he’s walked in too.

Then what happens ? You get Back.

When was the last time you txt? Why am I only good enough to spend the night txting when you’re alone?

Yes I’m still your friend I suppose I’ll always be your friend with or without the guy. But I won’t always be around to pick up the piece, I hope I won’t need to pick up any more pieces.

The hurtful part is when you clearly see how much you didn’t do, or didn’t say, or didn’t bother, but conveniently all that’s forgotten when you’re back together. The thing is I won’t forget. There’s only so many times I can get hurt and get back up.


If you have a letter you would like to share, one you never sent, then please email it to debs@bringingustogether.org.uk and let us know if you wish it to remain anonymous or to link back to your own site.



BuT Site Admin

Debs is one of the co-founders and Directors of Bringing Us Together. She is mum to three child with a variety of SEND and has a great husband.

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1 Response

  1. chris says:

    Men kill many a relationship unfortunately. It’s a fact of life 🙁

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